First off, a huge thank you to everyone who reached out about last week’s midweek post. So many of you connected with how I’m feeling and the changes I’m working on in my life. I also heard from a lot of people who’ve read Don’t Believe Everything You Think. And a special shoutout to Jamal and Chris for helping me finally pronounce the author’s name correctly. I officially feel foolish for butchering it before!
The deeper I go on this journey of refocusing my energy, being more intentional with my time, and learning what to let go of, the more I see how much modern life contributes to the chaos. For Christmas, we got our kids iPads, and it’s been eye-opening (and honestly a little alarming) to see how addictive these devices are. It’s hard for them to connect with anything else when they’re in the zone on a screen. I’m not here to preach or act like I’m saying anything revolutionary because I know that I am not. I also know I’m only a month into this shift, so maybe my head is still in the clouds, but I can’t deny how good I feel right now. I’m more present, calmer, more focused, and healthier than I’ve been in a long time.
Here are some things that have been working for me:
1. Set Daily Goals (And Be Okay Not Hitting Them All)
I had this conversation with Nick recently. We were both feeling like there’s never enough time to get everything done. And the truth is, there isn’t. Time is limited, so the only way forward is to prioritize what truly matters. If family is your top priority, make time for that. If it’s work, focus there. If it’s exercise, build your schedule around it. The key is accepting that we can’t do it all, and that’s okay.
2. Spend Less Time on Social Media
Social media is a tool, not a lifestyle. Use it for what you need, then turn it off. I’ve removed social media apps from my phone and only check them on my iPad or computer. Doing this has been a game changer. It’s made me realize how much I relied on those apps for stimulation, and breaking that habit has been freeing.
3. Focus on the Basics: Eat Well, Sleep, Exercise
This one’s simple in theory but hard in practice. I’m not a 5 a.m. workout kind of guy. That’s just not me. I’d rather exercise at the end of the day as a way to unwind. Life is busy with two kids and work, but I’ve found I can always carve out 30-60 minutes to get outside and move. Lately, I’ve been running at night, even when it’s 20-30 degrees out. Once you’re dressed for the weather, it’s actually refreshing. Eating healthy and getting enough sleep are also huge for me. Life is just easier when I do these things consistently, so I work with my wife to make sure we prioritize them as a family.
4. Read More (And Leave the Phone Behind)
I’ve stopped bringing my phone to bed. If there’s something online I want to read, I’ll use my computer instead. This change has been big, especially for how it looks to my kids. I don’t want them to see me glued to my phone when we’re hanging out or winding down for the night. I’ve even started keeping books in the bathroom (yeah, I’m that guy now, officially old). It’s a small change, but it’s made me a more efficient bathroom visitor and a better reader, a win-win!
On the reading front, I’ve noticed I struggle to stay engaged with books that aren’t practical or technical. I can breeze through articles on framing or passive design, but self-help or fiction? My mind wanders. One trick that’s helped is keeping a pencil or highlighter in the book. Marking up key points keeps me focused and makes it easier to retain what I’m reading.
5. Be Present
This one hits close to home. My kids are growing up fast, and every day feels like less time with them. It used to give me anxiety, but I wasn’t doing anything about it. Now, I leave my phone on the counter or put it on “Do Not Disturb” so I can fully focus on them. They shouldn’t have to call my name five times to get my attention. The bonus? I’m also more productive when I’m not constantly checking emails, social media, or texts.
Let me be clear: I don’t have this all figured out. I’m fumbling through life like everyone else, trying to manage anxiety and be more present. But I’ve learned that many of us are in the same boat. We’re overstimulated, over-connected, and constantly trying to cram ten pounds of stuff into a five-pound bag. It’s not sustainable, and it’s not fulfilling.
At 39, I’m finally starting to see that. My friend Logan recently shared an article with me about using your phone as a tool rather than letting it control you. I’m finishing up my current book, and then I’ll dive into that article and share more with you.
I hope this blog is helpful. I’m no expert, just sharing my journey. Thanks for reading, and here’s to figuring this out together.